invertebrae

I love the show "Sex in the City", but the main character annoys the hell out of me. When it comes to her boyfriends she never says what's on her mind! But besides my whole theory that people on tv are not real and you, therefore, need not have any regard for their feelings, I wonder why this would annoy me so much.

I think I'm the same way. (For me at least, people annoy me because I'm annoying - topic for another day.) Though, I'm not reknowned for my many relationships, I often back down way too early. I don't stand up for myself - People never know that I'm angry at them or that I'm annoyed. Ideally, I would never be annoyed or angry at anyone. And perhaps, it's better that I don't "get up in everyone's grill". But still, I don't like being so afraid of other people's opinions, that it actually stops me. It's like a prison, but just on the other side of those bars is a lion. I'm still trapped, but maybe it's not wise to break loose.

Passive aggression seems to be the disease of pleasant people. I believe I am pleasant people, but I know that sometimes that comes at the cost of my honesty. I've been thinking about self-control as a virtue. We all admire those who are reckless, who say what's on their mind, but is this actually bad?

Where can you be found, oh Happy Medium?

jumping off the blog bridge

I have a journal. It has coloured pages and I use this special pen. Only I read it, and I somehow feel that if I let anyone see it, they'll know how lame I am. I'm not saying you should read my journal (but it's way interesting), but I've been reading a million blogs lately, and I keep on seeing this interesting (non-lame) side of people.

I want an interesting side. :(

I figure formation is a good name for this blog. I want to figure out stuff and grow, and I want to catalogue it. It's a process. So if I'm as much of an idiotic child as I believe I am (which I doubt because I have really low self-esteem), well, here's hoping that will eventually change, and I'll be able to watch it happen... online... because that's the only way I see anything*.




*"anything" refers to Daily Show clips.