i have toothpaste on my face

I've been told that it helps dry out zits. I wonder what other weird things people can make me do if they appeal to my vanity.

my new car is the same blue as hydrogen

The new stage of my life is slowly taking shape. Today, we picked up the new car - unofficially mine, officially my mom's. Over the next year, I will spend about 200 hours in that car. In that car, I will sit in traffic, I will road rage, I will sing, I will dine, I will laugh, I will probably cry, all the way to and from music theatre school. That still kinda sounds like a joke to me.

I'm going to music theatre school.

Weird.

Besides this car being a step of preparation, it also is a huge, wonderful sign that my parents are supporting me in this insane endeavor. I remember being so afraid of what my parents would think when these notions came into my head, and when I admitted them, they totally surprised me. I think I'm in danger of forgetting that. I hope I don't screw this up.

*Funny anecdote: When the lady at the dealership saw my brother, my sister, and I, she thought that he was my father, and my little sister was my mother. My brother is 35 and my sister is one year younger than me. Gross and weird.

the most tactless person on earth

I remember watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? one time and Colin Mochrie had to play the most tactless person on earth. It was really funny, but let me assure you in real life it is rarely very funny. Usually, it ends with a quiet space leaving the people around desperately trying to think of some other topic to talk about.

I have a knack of finding the least appropriate joke possible and saying it. Once, I was with a friend and made fun of his break-up. Little did I know the break-up was recent in history, and while that friend was trying to confide in me, I was trying to be funny.

And sometimes, I find the one thing that someone happens to be sensitive about, and I make fun of them for it. It's like a super power, if super powers are supposed make you into an awkward loser with no friends.

Maybe one day, I'll get to say a eulogy, and I'll make fun of the deceased and his or her loved ones. Then I won't ever have to worry about "hanging out with people" or "having friends".

my inner child can beat up yours

Right now, I'm in a room with 18 4-7 year olds, enjoying the most relaxing time of the week - computer time. It's the only time when I know they'll be quiet, they won't hit each other, ask to go home, or need to go to the washroom*.

People who work with children must be the most patient people in the world. My sister's a teacher, and I would never call her a patient woman. But maybe that's because she spends all day with kids who are always saying her name (and those are the good kids).

So definitely, this is a better job than Tim Hortons. But there are moments when I think I'm going to totally lose it. Perhaps, this is my chance to learn infinite patience and care. Or maybe I'll just lose it and these kids can always brag that they pushed their science camp instructor to the brink.

"Esther! Esther! I have something to tell you!" Even now, the chorus resounds. It's funny. I always whine about not being well-liked, and now, I'm respected and adored by these four feet people and it drives me CRAZY. Well, today it is. On Monday, I'll go back to basking in their love.

Yesterday, I taught the grade 7/8 class instead of the 1/2 I usually teach. Dave, the other instructor, and I started the switch by me coming into his class and critisizing his lesson, and we started to fight. Then the boss came in and told us that we had to switch. It was fun. Anyway, my main point is that 7/8s are almost the same! They whine just as much, and they are almost as needy! The only differences are height and cuteness.

Maybe, my lectures are the same, I just never realized it. Wouldn't that be funny? "Professor! Professor! I have something to tell you! Come over here and help me!" Actually, that sounds a lot like my lab. Oops. Maybe that whining things isn't as endearing as I thought.



* You may think that's weird, but at any other time, these kids insist on going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or less.