"oh, fie, fie, fie!"

I want to be an actor!

I had kind of forgotten that, and I got caught up in the whole school thing, that I forgot why I really wanted to go to school there. Today, in Shakespeare class, I did my monologue. It's from Measure for Measure. In case you don't know the story, Claudio knocks up his girlfriend and is going to get hanged for it, so he gets his nun-in-training sister, Isabella, to go talk to the dude in charge, Angelo, who's actually subbing for the real duke, to see if she can change his mind. Turns out that Angelo thinks Isabella is hot and says that if she sleeps with him, then he'll let Claudio go. (Pretty messed, eh? It's a problem play.)

Anyway, my scene was when I tell Claudio of Angelo's proposition. It's awesome. I get all angry and sad and sympathetic. And, it was FUN. First, I did it, and then I got all caught up in it and started yelling. Then Mimi (my acting teacher) made me do it as a big huge joke (which was weird, but funny), then as a televangelist, then like I was in love (this was weird because the other person in the scene was supposed to be my brother). It all seems like a silly game, but it's got me excited and thinking like crazy about what my monologue could be - what more it could say, how truthful and intricate it could be. I'm realizing now that it's not just about being realistic, but also meaningful. Anything truly meaningful never is straightforward.

Dudes! I'm in theatre school! I'm learning to be a musical theatre actor! MESSED!!!