blotches on my monitor make things less clear

I must start this blog with a picture:

I was moving my parent's van a short distance so I left my the side doors open. My backpack fell out and got caught under the wheel. For some reason, that morning, I decided to bring my laptop (I think I was considering applying for jobs in my down time, which ironically, I now need more than ever.). In a flurry, I moved the car, and checked my laptop, which seemed fine, but when I turned it on, I found the screen looked like this.  I am now writing this blog on with the above blotches on my screen (mirrored, of course). 

So this, of course, sucks. To emphasize the blow, my camera was in the bag and so the display doesn't work, so I cannot see the pictures I have taken (It's like I'm in the 90s.) and I can't change the settings (or I could change them, but I don't know what I'd be changing them from or to.). Furthermore, this is just one week after I had to replace the windshield of my car after some random thing coming off a car or truck on the highway hits me. For the first time in my life, I will be incapable of paying off my credit card bill in full - just in time for the start of my new life.

But the weirdest thing is I'm not too stressed about it. I initially freaked out and cried, yes, but I soon concluded that it's all just stuff and money. Could this be evidence of growth? Or just does this happen to be a good day for Esther's insides? 

This has been a weird week for your friend, Esther. It's the first week without shows, yet with dispersed activity, and a LOT of introspection. Mostly the old stuff, but also a new question: Should I go to Korea again this summer? I would be doing the same job, and making the same money. On one hand, the money would be nice, but on the other hand, it kinda feels like selling out - doing a job I don't like for the money, while I escape the responsibility of pursuing my dreams. I'm not saying I'll never go back, but right now, when I'm trying to begin, it seems cowardly to delay that.  But with all this cash draw, maybe I'm being forced into a decision. Does God work that way?

Also: This is the first blog I have done with importing to Facebook. I think I'm shy, but right now, it's important for me to share my journey.