I finally bought some inserts for my Harry Potter agenda*, and after I stuck them in, I suddenly realized what was in there. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I put in a year's worth of dated pages . A year. Theoretically, this means that I have started anticipating dates up to next December. Most frighteningly, there is (though I haven't checked, because I'm too scared) a September 2006 in there! There is a blank date where it should say "Lectures begin" that I'm not going to fix.
I'm know I'm one to exaggerate my emotions, but, for real, this is freaking me out.
I don't know what's going to be happening in a year! ... No, not a year... Less Than A Year. Half of those pages represent days that are totally unknown to me. Before, I could anticipate where I would be living or what I'd be studying, but now, there's only this void.
This is new to me. Throughout high school, I always assumed that I would be going to university (it was a pretty good assumption), but now when I look ahead, there's great uncertainty.
So here's the thing: About four months ago, I was seriously considering going to theatre school after my engineering degree. It was exciting! It was adventurous! But now, to be honest, that seems very foolish and naive.
... It probably is.
I need to find a job, I think.
The future freaks me out.
*A sixteenth birthday present from Soozi.
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