Friday, February 03, 2006

career frivolity

My lovely cousin, Donna, just emailed me. Her mother of which she speaks does some missionary work in China.
My mom once told me that the most poignant difference between the kids and University students she interacts with in China and the kids/people here in North America is that the Chinese/Korean kids don’t have that, “what I’m going to be when I grow up” dream. It’s a foreign concept to them while for us we take it for granted.
I have to admit something: I've been taking it for granted. The last week I've been handing in applications, and I've been taking that opportunity to be fearful and insecure. I'm so scared that I'm not good enough, that I'm being completely ridiculous. But even more than those things, I'm afraid that I'm putting so much of my pride on the line - so much pride in this dream - and I may be wrong. I might have thought that this is my passion, but really, I was just a stupid young girl with nothing better to do.
But maybe I'm missing the point. (In fact, I'm sure I must be.)

When I was being afraid of all this career frivolity, I forgotten that this is the blessing. What the hell do we know? Yet, we're put behind the wheel of this Porshe* called life with a little less than a driver's permit. It's fine to be terrified, but I keep on forgetting that I'm in a Porshe*!
Oh, God, I'm terrified.



*or any good car. I don't know very many.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

the real world is scary and as much as I hate Milton, sometimes he comes in handy so here's Sonnet 16:
When I consider how my light is spent,
E're half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide,
Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, least he returning chide,
Doth God exact day-labour, light deny'd,
I fondly ask; But patience to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts, who best
Bear his milde yoak, they serve him best, his State
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o're Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and waite.

It's my favourite.

Love,
Laura

ps. your link to me is totally not my web page.

sequesthered said...

whoa... dude... that was so deep

meaningful poetry = cool

I fixed the link.

Anonymous said...

yesssss. more cool points. mission accomplished.


ps. there is more to me than mad cow disease.

pps. that reminds me of our crazy french play - "mais je ne veux pas etre une tarte"