Sunday, November 19, 2006

"if i get up, i might fall back down again"

Sometimes people compliment me. Often, it doesn't really matter, because I refuse to believe it. (Why? I don't know. I think it has something to do with the way my older sisters made sure I was never vain.) I like them though. It would be better if I could just hear "I like you", rather than try and analyze what the complimenter said.

There's a compliment I've heard a few times in the last little while and it scares me. Is it vain to talk about? Who cares. This is my blog, my place to be self-indulgent.

People tell me that I'm strong.

And then I laugh. Me? Strong? That's very nice of you, but I think it's just because you don't know me. Because if you knew how many times I fall apart and how often I'm held together by threads, you probably wouldn't be saying that.

But then, I keep hearing it, from different places - from people who know me. Maybe it's me that's got it wrong. Maybe I don't really understand what strength is.

And maybe, it's not even my strength.

God is made strong in my weakness, right? Maybe, God's strength is that he threads my pieces back together. Maybe, that's what they meant.

I don't know if I understand this yet.

I've always wanted to be strong.

7 comments:

dannyhuh said...

why is this labelled: "i don't like food anymore"
i like it though.

p.s. it's making me say nydzv.

deltaepsilon said...

I think that much like courage lies not in not being afraid, but in going on despite fear, strength is not about not fraying, but more about that one last string that still holds things together, if that makes sense.

sequesthered said...

danny:
did you leave both those messages, because i got the second one, but the "nydzv" doesn't make sense.

i love you, brudder.
esther

deltaepsilon said...

Well, I know that I only left the second message. No idea what the first comment means

sequesthered said...

then you're not danny!
billy dan?

deltaepsilon said...

nope :D

deltaepsilon said...

Give up?